unwelcome

I never had a conversation with you anymore wherein you made me feel welcomed… well not since 2000-whatever. And every time I try, you never fail to make me feel bad.



*PS: I deleted the previous post kase that certain person and I are okay na.

peace offering?

Cel called me up at 6 freakin’ am today to tell me that she will not be coming to work because she wanted to spend time with her mom before she goes back to Davao. I totally understood and I had no problems with that, except maybe for the fact that she woke me up. heehee! Anyway, she came to the office a while ago to give a ‘peace offering’ daw. Hello?? I asked her if we were at war (which we’re not!). Anyway, thanks Cel for the offering! :)

miracle

As I was commuting to work today, I was fighting the awkwardness of my seat (in an FX) trying my best to get into slumber mode. hehe! Somewhere along Osmeńa Highway a song kept disturbing my extended sleeping time. The song ‘Miracle’ by Whitney Houston which I know has been quite popular during its time has shown itself up to a particular stations’ play list. Nothing special I know, but the lyrics of the song hit home. I have been pulled back into my ‘thinking state’ for the past week now. Scary thoughts and doubts seemed to have crept its way back into my mind and have bothered me immensely especially when I am thinking about my future. Then I heard this song, sappy I know, letting myself believe that this is a sign. But whatever! I can believe whatever I choose to believe. And this song seemed to have made me feel better. So yeah, I guess that was a sign.

Nothing should matter

Not when love grows inside you

The choice is yours

There's a miracle in store

Nothing should matter

Not when love grows inside you

A voice of love is crying out

Don't throw love away

There's a miracle in store

How could I let go of a miracle

Nothing could ever take its place

Thought I was looking

Out for myself

Now it seems the pain

Is all that I have gained

I wonder if you could be my miracle

I wonder if you could spare me pain

Seems as though nothing will comfort me

Less today I pray

That you should come listen

sad thought

Ever felt this before?

Because you're hoping you're wrong. And every time he does something that tells you he's no good, you ignore it. And every time he comes through and surprises you, he wins you over, and you lose that argument with yourself, that he's not for you.

-Iris, The Holiday

i am missing something right now...

I just wish it would come already… and let me out of my misery.

I saw someone just recently and all my insecurities are rushing back in. Hay, I hate myself when I’m like this. I feel so down right now. I miss being on top. I need steps, concrete steps like for alcoholics, the 12-step thing… I need that! I need discipline! I need motivation! I need something! Hay! Nakaka- frustrate!

I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS! I HATE THIS!

happy birthday!

hello weekend

Weekend's here!!!

NO WORK = HAPPINESS!

P.S. I feel like such an expert. heeheehee