Sunday, October 28, 2007

Sleep Thinking

It's 3AM and I’m still awake!

This is not good. Everyone who knows me knows that I am not much of a night person… I stay up late for very special occasions and very important cramming sessions only. Late nights, or should I say dawn brings back sad thoughts and memories to mind. I don’t really know why, but I have somehow associated those during this time of the day. Oftentimes, when I’m alone (or if I don’t know the people I’m riding the car with) in my LNS, sad thoughts keep resurfacing, forcing/bringing me back to ‘those’ days. I try my best to forget about them but sadly they are forever imprinted in my mind.

To divert my thoughts, I just go about my day in my head. Think of the highlights and lowlights of the day that has just gone by. Lately, it seems to be filled with, again, not-so-good thoughts which I have to admit really saddens and affects me. I try not to get affected but in this case, it's just not in my personality. I keep trying to figure out what is happening but I can’t seem to come up with anything. Turon has other thoughts but I refuse to believe him.

Thinking back to the FY07 that was, I am realizing that I really had been busy, a lot has been thrown into my plate (which is a positive thing). For whatever it is that I will be getting, I know in my heart that I deserve it and I won’t let anything or anybody make me feel otherwise. October 2006, if you ask me I will tell you without a moment’s pause that I want to move out… but along the way a lot of things changed, thus affecting my decision. I had been really happy about that… but now… I don’t know… thoughts of resignation have even visited once or twice. It’s just that I feel like I’m trapped and I can’t move…

This thing that I am worrying about is not really work related… or maybe it is… oh, I don’t know.

Stop thinking! I need to go to sleep! Well, I need to go home first… then sleep… but I can’t go home yet… so I can’t sleep yet…

Hay naku! In Mcq’s words… My mind is so sabog!


2 comments:

McQ said...

yah sabog is the best!!! wahahaha
welcome to my world!!! waahahha

Anonymous said...

I think we need to separate thinking while sleeping. take good rest.