Friday, September 28, 2007

help me explain

EMO alert...

For days now, I have been thinking of something to blog about. Something that’s deep and fitting as to what I’m feeling these days... something to explain how changes have been taking effect in my life lately. How grown up Turon and I have been feeling with each decision that we have been making. I want to put into words how some events can spiral out of control and completely change everything you’ve ever known and believed in. Make you alter your views in your life, your hopes for the future and the way you live in the present time.

I want to explain how I am affected with all that has been happening to the people that are close to me. How some things, be it small, have a negative impact on how I act and speak around them. I want to put across my intent in asking for forgiveness if in any way I have contributed to this change or if I have hurt them as they had hurt me… and at the same time I wish to let them know that I am still here. I still care for them and love them and I hope they still do for me.

I want to express how proud I am of me and my Turon with the choices that we have made and are still making. How each of our decisions proves more and more to ourselves that we have indeed come a long way… from a couple of college students to 2 grown up individuals who have made a life for themselves separately and together at the same time. How we have faced all the challenges that we re given to us in the 6 years that we have been together. Yes, some were handled not exactly the right way, but in the end we still came through.

I wish to convey the happiness that I feel for all the positive changes that my friends are experiencing now. How proud and truly pleased I am for them for making it and proving how one can achieve whatever they put their minds and hearts into… and how thrilled I am in welcoming them into our world.

Lastly, I would like to let someone know that I am and will always be behind you. To explain how I acknowledge that you have always been there for me my whole life. It is now that I realize how important and significant your presence have been. How I know that you are trying to be brave… how I wish I can be brave for you as well. But the thing is, I am not. I have to admit I am scared and a little bit unsure. It is as if I feel that a part of me has gone and it will never be returned.

Please help me explain.

1 comments:

McQ said...

you don't need any explanation dear.. its all there... just a drop of certainty for it will be transparent...=)